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The Lifted Hearts Community is... "Empathy and understanding. Open  hearted. Honest and truthful. Enlightening. Unconditional. Non-judgmental. Encouraging. Warm and friendly..."

...Compassion
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*
(what other breakup board contains book reviews, weather reports, poetry postings, and 'writerly' diary entries?)

....and don't forget HOPE itself...
That's what I've found here. It's so great to see that others have survived, or are surviving, what you're going through. Seeing others' progress and even setbacks help you to understand that what you're experiencing is normal.


Lifted Hearts is wonderful b/c

  • it helps us get through the day with the advice of others
  • it's important to realize that there are others like you that are going through the same situation as you
  • you meet people that live in a different country that are trying to help you too
  • you can help others
  • and post all you want and not get a "Oh god, not again" sigh.

And how about these wondrous acclamations:

  1. we love and care for each other
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  3. you are a hot mamma!
  4. NR is a stud muffin!
  5. there is no greater catharsis than writing and posting your feelings here, for all the world to see!

Breaking the Addiction to Our (Ex) Partners

Being 'addicted' to an ex partner has everything to do with familiarity. They have been there for probably enough time to get under your skin. You share jokes with each other, you may even share a language nobody else understands. You just have to look at each other and know what the other person is thinking. However, you just can't make the relationship work. Either you are still too different, have different goals in life, or other obstacles stand in your way.

Either way, most of us can say we get into a situation at times where we form an addiction of a sort to our ex partners. We keep thinking about them, seek them out and even get back together, just to realize why you were not together anymore shortly after. The circle can continue itself for a while after, for some people until they meet someone new.

There are ways of breaking the spell with your ex though. One of them is harder than it sounds: take distance! Agree not to call each other for a while and give each other space. You need to focus on yourself without being tempted back into the familiarity trap.

Get a hobby

This is an often ignored given. Focusing on a, preferably new, hobby or activity does not only distract you, it get's you exposed to a completely new social circle.

Meeting new people can expand your horizons and is very healthy when you are going through a breakup-grieving process. It is by no means meant as a way for you to meet someone new to date! You need to give yourself some time first and stay away from the rebound relationships. However, meeting new people does bring a spark back into life itself, and may keep you from going back to your old familiar routine (with your ex!) when "new life" is calling.

Make a list

Compile a list of reasons why you should not go back to your ex. This is not meant as a way of dishonoring the good you had, or making him/her look bad. It is rather a way of reminding yourself why you are better off in your current, unfamiliar, new situation. If you were the one dumped, still try to make this list. If the relationship ended, it was not working out for some reason, and you would probably be able to recognize or at least acknowledge some of those reasons.

Spend time with friends

Looking up old, and new, friends will keep your social agenda filled. The least amount of time you spend moping on your couch the better! Staring at a TV screen or just being lonely and miserable will tempt you to invite your ex to come over and share the misery with you. They will probably not do that, but instead they will either reject you (making you feel worse), or be just as tempted and you could find yourself in and out of the old relationship. Not a healthy situation by far!

You may also want to read How to Get Over a Breakup.

You may also be interested in reading Win Back Your Ex.

Our Breakup Advice
My Breakup Space
My Breakup Blog
My Big Breakup
The Zodiac Man
STOP a Breakup

Breakups Magazine
Gay/Lesbian Advice

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

It's only the beginning now,
A pathway yet unknown;
At times the sound
of other steps ...
Sometimes we walk alone.

The best beginnings
of our lives
May sometimes
end in sorrow;
But even on our
darkest days ...
The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring,
And look beyond
the winter chill ...
To smell the breath
of spring.

Into each life
will always come
A time to start anew;
A new beginning
for each heart ...
As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares
of life are great
And heads are
bowed so low,
The storms of life
will leave behind ...
The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will
never take away
Our chance to start anew;
It's only the beginning now
So Dreams can
still come true.

~ Gertrude B. McClain ~

Can you really get your ex back in your arms - where they belong?

Stop A Break Up  |  Love Hurts - Mend A Broken Heart |  Make Men Love You  |  Commitment Phobia
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