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Break free from
their spell
The Lifted Hearts
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The Lifted Hearts Community is...
"Empathy and understanding. Open hearted. Honest and truthful.
Enlightening. Unconditional. Non-judgmental. Encouraging. Warm and
friendly..."
....and don't forget
HOPE itself...
And how about
these wondrous acclamations:
Breaking the Addiction to Our (Ex)
Partners
Being 'addicted' to an ex partner has
everything to do with familiarity. They have been there for probably enough
time to get under your skin. You share jokes with each other, you may even
share a language nobody else understands. You just have to look at each other
and know what the other person is thinking. However, you just can't make
the relationship work. Either you are still too different, have different
goals in life, or other obstacles stand in your way.
Either way, most of us can say we get
into a situation at times where we form an addiction of a sort to our ex
partners. We keep thinking about them, seek them out and even get back together,
just to realize why you were not together anymore shortly after. The circle
can continue itself for a while after, for some people until they meet someone
new.
There are ways of breaking the spell
with your ex though. One of them is harder than it sounds: take distance!
Agree not to call each other for a while and give each other space. You need
to focus on yourself without being tempted back into the familiarity
trap.
Get a hobby
This is an often ignored given. Focusing
on a, preferably new, hobby or activity does not only distract you, it get's
you exposed to a completely new social circle.
Meeting new people can expand your horizons
and is very healthy when you are going through a breakup-grieving process.
It is by no means meant as a way for you to meet someone new to date! You
need to give yourself some time first and stay away from the rebound
relationships. However, meeting new people does bring a spark back into life
itself, and may keep you from going back to your old familiar routine (with
your ex!) when "new life" is calling.
Make a list
Compile a list of reasons why you should
not go back to your ex. This is not meant as a way of dishonoring the good
you had, or making him/her look bad. It is rather a way of reminding yourself
why you are better off in your current, unfamiliar, new situation. If you
were the one dumped, still try to make this list. If the relationship ended,
it was not working out for some reason, and you would probably be able to
recognize or at least acknowledge some of those reasons.
Spend time with friends
Looking up old, and new, friends will
keep your social agenda filled. The least amount of time you spend moping
on your couch the better! Staring at a TV screen or just being lonely and
miserable will tempt you to invite your ex to come over and share the misery
with you. They will probably not do that, but instead they will either reject
you (making you feel worse), or be just as tempted and you could find yourself
in and out of the old relationship. Not a healthy situation by
far!
You may also be interested in reading
How to STOP a Breakup.
It's only the beginning now,
The best beginnings
So we must do our very best
Into each life
Although the cares
The years will
~ Gertrude B. McClain ~
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Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru
Our Member's
Comments:
...Compassion
...Integrity
..Reason
..Caring
..Lively*
..Endurance
*(what other breakup board
contains book reviews, weather reports, poetry postings, and 'writerly' diary
entries?)
That's what I've found here. It's so great to see that others have survived,
or are surviving, what you're going through. Seeing others' progress and
even setbacks help you to understand that what you're experiencing is
normal.
Lifted Hearts is wonderful
b/c
You may also want to read How to Get Over a
Breakup.
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A pathway yet unknown;
At times the sound
of other steps ...
Sometimes we walk alone.
of our lives
May sometimes
end in sorrow;
But even on our
darkest days ...
The sun will shine tomorrow.
Whatever life may bring,
And look beyond
the winter chill ...
To smell the breath
of spring.
will always come
A time to start anew;
A new beginning
for each heart ...
As fresh as morning dew.
of life are great
And heads are
bowed so low,
The storms of life
will leave behind ...
The wonder of a rainbow.
never take away
Our chance to start anew;
It's only the beginning now
So Dreams can
still come true.
