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The Lifted Hearts Community is... "Empathy and understanding. Open  hearted. Honest and truthful. Enlightening. Unconditional. Non-judgmental. Encouraging. Warm and friendly..."

...Compassion
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(what other breakup board contains book reviews, weather reports, poetry postings, and 'writerly' diary entries?)

....and don't forget HOPE itself...
That's what I've found here. It's so great to see that others have survived, or are surviving, what you're going through. Seeing others' progress and even setbacks help you to understand that what you're experiencing is normal.


Lifted Hearts is wonderful b/c

  • it helps us get through the day with the advice of others
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  • you meet people that live in a different country that are trying to help you too
  • you can help others
  • and post all you want and not get a "Oh god, not again" sigh.

And how about these wondrous acclamations:

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  4. NR is a stud muffin!
  5. there is no greater catharsis than writing and posting your feelings here, for all the world to see!

Why Men Dump Women: The Top Five Reasons

Women and men get dumped approximately equally often, but both sexes dump for entirely different reasons.

Men tend to dump women for five common reasons:

1. Different values/attitudes

This reason is fairly universal across the sexes and commonly happens in the "getting to know" stage of the relationship. One day your man wakes up and realizes his girlfriend wants to have ten kids, instantly you get visions of crying babies, marriage and weight gain. Many men are very attracted to women who want families, but for some it is just not their cut of tea (yet). Frankly, they are scared of women who obviously have serious commitment on their agenda. Whether they like kids or not, the fact you want them (seemingly) right now is reason enough for the guy to run in the opposite direction.

2. The girlfriend is too possessive

Women change when they have a boyfriend; once a girl goes head over heals for a guy, she ignores her friends, abandons family and devotes her life to this one guy. Forgive me ladies, of course this stereotype does not apply to everyone, but everyone in the honeymoon phase of the relationship is without a doubt more 'drawn' to their new partner than in any other phase. Some people are truly on the same line with each other; they have the same "spending-time-needs" and as a result neither of the two feels either abandoned or tied down. There are cases though where women (and men!) become so excited about their new love, that it borderlines obsession. The new boyfriend can soon feel emotionally and physically tied down when you want to spend every waking moment with him. He still needs his night out with the guys, without the girlfriend tagging along! Even if he says it's "OK" for you to come along, there are times where you just need to take the initiative and give him some space. Equally, you need your space as well! If you don't have your own "lives" aside from each other, you will wake up one day with nothing to say to each other.

3. Either he hates your family, you hate his

Let's face it, when we date someone, we are also dating the family (in most cases). At some point you have to deal with each other, even if it is only at Christmas and birthday parties. Generally people would like their boy/girlfriends to get along with their closest relatives. If you are openly mean to your boyfriend's parents, or he cannot stand yours, it is likely he will just decide the relationship is not working for him. It's too bad when something that seems so trivial to some can be such a large determining factor, however keep in mind that the way your boyfriend treats his and/or your parents is a good indicator of how he may treat you one day, and visa versa! If you are rude to his father now, you are more likely to be rude to him as well.

4. "Change" of Character

We joke about women who cut their hair and gain weight after they get married, because they do not need to attract a new many anymore. Less discussed are our own white lies we tell when we are trying to attract a date. Everyone has told a little white lie at some point; we either lie about our tastes ("oh yes, I hate suits on a guy, you look hot in sweats honey"), or ourselves ("yes, I love to work out every day!"). If you are telling an athlete you love to work out and give him reason to believe you have some common ground (i.e. you get to go out running together), but you are truly a couch potato who would love to like working out, then at some point he will catch on! If you are serious about pursuing someone, you may as well be honest because at some point the truth will come out. Even with little white lies this can make a massive difference. Sure, you can tell a self proclaimed commitmentphobe you never want to get married, but if you see yourself changing him and running him down the aisle you are in for a surprise. You cannot change him, only yourself. Denying yourself your dreams and what you want from a relationship just to be with someone is a bad strategy. You are wasting time in which you could be meeting someone who does have a lot in common with you, instead of being with someone which who you just pretend to have a lot in common. Sometimes opposites attract, so why lie?

5. Nagging and other annoying habits

Sometimes we ladies feel like our significant others are not listening, or not getting our point. In some cases this is actually true, but men are notoriously not-so-great listeners. Problem is, when women keep insisting they are called "naggers". Truth is some of us are! Next time you feel your naggy side come out, take a deep breath and tell yourself to lighten up. If he really isn't listening to you, then nagging will only cause him to tune you out even more. So face the real problem, and attack the reason you feel you should nag to get his attention. Effective communication is as necessary as it is hard, but it helps if you both have similar communication styles or at least openly discuss how you communicate and why.

For more information about the laws of attracting a man, please check out Tigress Luv's How to Become a Man Magnet.

Our Breakup Advice
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Breakups Magazine
Gay/Lesbian Advice

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

It's only the beginning now,
A pathway yet unknown;
At times the sound
of other steps ...
Sometimes we walk alone.

The best beginnings
of our lives
May sometimes
end in sorrow;
But even on our
darkest days ...
The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring,
And look beyond
the winter chill ...
To smell the breath
of spring.

Into each life
will always come
A time to start anew;
A new beginning
for each heart ...
As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares
of life are great
And heads are
bowed so low,
The storms of life
will leave behind ...
The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will
never take away
Our chance to start anew;
It's only the beginning now
So Dreams can
still come true.

~ Gertrude B. McClain ~

Can you really get your ex back in your arms - where they belong?

Stop A Break Up  |  Love Hurts - Mend A Broken Heart |  Make Men Love You  |  Commitment Phobia
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